Ask ten moms what they want for Mother’s Day and you’ll probably get ten different answers.  Moms of very young children may (guiltily) just want the whole house to themselves, while moms of busy teenagers may be craving a little attitude-free together time.

What should you do for the mom on your list in honor of her special day?  If you want the straight scoop, ask her.  If you’d rather wing it, here are a few suggestions:

Feed her

Young kids love serving their moms breakfast in bed.  And moms tend to like it too, as long as dad carries the tray and—this is key—someone else cleans up.   Tucking a couple of her favorite magazines on the tray is a nice touch too.

Breakfast out works can work as well, as long as the mom in your life doesn’t mind getting up and getting dressed (personally I prefer crumbs in the sheets).  If you’re not sure what would go over better, ask her.

Spoil her

Gift certificates for massages, manicures, pedicures and facials are generally gratefully received by hardworking moms who don’t have a lot of time to spend on themselves.  Better yet, book the appointment yourself and drop her off at the salon that day.  It’ll be one less thing on her to do list.

Shower her with homemade gifts

Acrostic poems, noodle necklaces, hand drawn cards…we moms eat this stuff up.  My kids once performed a one-act play for me on Mothers’ Day called, “You’re the Greatest” or maybe it was, “The World’s Greatest Mom.”  Creativity counts for a lot as long as it’s mess-neutral.

Give her the day off

If you really want to make a mom happy, don’t let her lift a finger all day.  Go grocery shopping for her, do all the laundry and dishes, cook, clean, pick up the house, and wash her car.  Trust me; she won’t know what hit her.

Do something fun together

Even when families spend a lot of time together, chances are they’re doing homework, running to sports practices, checking email, and paying bills.  This Mother’s Day, put all that stuff on hold and do something fun together.  Go to the zoo.  Catch a minor league baseball game.  Take a hike.

Leave her alone

If your in-laws live nearby, your husband may be stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Here’s what my husband does: he celebrates Mother’s Day with me in the morning, and then packs the kids off to his mom’s house for a family lunch without me.  Then I spend the rest of the day doing whatever I please.   It’s the best of both worlds.