Several years ago, my mother-in-law cautiously floated the idea of a big family vacation in the Provence region of France. She found a converted farmhouse near Avignon with six bedrooms, a fenced pool, and even its own cherry orchard, but frankly she had me at “France.”

While you wouldn’t want to take every vacation with your parents, there are good reasons to do it. Many of us have moved away from home and don’t get much more than two weeks off work a year. Combining grandparent visits with family vacations just makes sense. Since that first trip to France, I’ve taken three more big family trips and learned a lot about what works.  It’s not easy to accommodate three generations, but it’s not impossible either.

Pick the Right Destination

Ideal destinations offer lots of activities very close to your accommodations. Dude ranches are good and so are all inclusive resorts.  One of our most successful trips was to a resort town in central Oregon which had golf, tennis, biking, river rafting, and horseback riding. Plus there were miles of bike trails, abundant playgrounds, and a small village for shopping.
Our family pursued divergent interests most mornings and then met back at the house for lunch.  Evenings were spent grilling dinner and watching the sun set—I was never more relaxed in my life.

Decide Who’s Paying

The clearer you are about who’s paying for what up front, the less room there will be for misunderstandings. Are you splitting the cost of the lodging? Going in together on groceries? On your own for airfare?  If you can’t afford to eat out every night or play golf daily, be sure to say so in the planning phase of the trip. If you’re being treated to the trip, insist on making dinner (or better yet, taking everyone out to a restaurant) as a token of your appreciation.

Give Everyone Some Space

Being packed together in too-small accommodations is no recipe for relaxation.  Every family has its door slammers. Not to mention its light sleepers, loud laughers, bathroom hogs, religious nappers, early risers, and late night news junkies. Luckily nowhere is it written that you have to all sleep together under the same roof. Parenting in public can be more than a little stressful and just-next-door style accommodations can help relieve some of the pressure.  It’s nice to be able to close the door of your cabin, suite, or condo on grandparents, siblings, and cousins every now and then.

Keep It Short and Sweet

Even if you love your parents or in-laws like crazy (and stay in separate condos), a week of togetherness may be too much. Consider test-driving the multi-generation vacation concept for a few days at a beach house or a mountain cabin instead.  If it works out, you can always repeat the experience again next year!